Friday, October 03, 2003

Now, the other good thing about cleanup day at work is that they feed us, with deli sandwiches and the like. The sandwiches are quite tasty, but for one problem: they insist on making them on high-fiber have-a-three-day-bowel-movement varieties of wheat bread. I'm a white bread kinda guy, personally; I happen to like Wonder bread. When did we become people whose bread had to provide our daily allowance of every fucking mineral and vitamin, etc.? This bread my sandwich is on has little specks of something in it which look almost like cornmeal but I don't think are. Icky texture.

Did you know that not-quite-stale bread makes the best toast? It's true. I like soft, fluffy, stick-to-the-roof-of-your-mouth bread for PB&J, but for making toast and something like grilled cheese (I make a mean grilled ham & cheese), just-past-fresh bread works the best; it holds up better to heat.

And another thing: why fuck up a perfectly good chocolate chip cookie with nuts?! Some of us don't like nuts. Some are even allergic (though I'm not one of those, fortunately). Nuts, like lettuce, just take up valuable stomach room which could be better used for ice cream, or Doritos, or beef.

I'm fully aware that this is a semi-ridiculous rant a la Seinfeld, but you know what? Welcome to my blog.

Making my lunch better: the middle three songs on my recent sunny summer 2003 comp, all perfect examples of sterling, shimmering pop-dance: Dannii Minogue's Madonna-jacking "Don't Wanna Lose This Feeling," Jason Nevins presents UKNY f/Holly James's Jacko-jacking "I'm In Heaven," and "How Did You Know (77 Strings)" by Kurtis Mantronik f/Chamonix.

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