Sunday, January 26, 2003

felt like crap when I got up this morning, but am relatively back to normal now. an apology to my friends who expected me at the bowling alley. playing catch-up, a look at selected entries in this week's new uk top 40 singles chart:
#37 "a little bit," rosie ribbons. didn't jessica simpson do this song in a bally's commercial? no, really.
#34 "dinosaur adventure 3d," underworld. not "two months off," more like two weeks.
#29 "the ketchup song (asereje)," las ketchup. why is this the longest-runner in the chart, at 16 weeks? simple: because it makes people feel good.
#28 "you drove me to it," hell is for heroes. why is it that most new uk bands of the last few years fall into one of two categories, either sub-coldplay or sub-limp bizkit? this is like the latter without the "rap" element. I prefer the pat benatar song after which this mediocre group is named.
#26 "fix my sink," dj sneak featuring bear'who?. stick to non-vocal tracks, sneak. I mean really, "fix my sink"?!
#23 "please," robin gibb. well, at least maurice's death wasn't entirely in vain...
#19 "crush (1980 me)," darren hayes. probably the most joy-filled record not named "the ketchup song" in this week's chart, a blissful cruise through memories of growing up a child of the '80s. does everything right that mark wills' "19 somethin'" does wrong. the word you're looking for is poptastic, though mills called it '80s-tastic, which is fine but not as catchy.
#17 "stormy in the north," the wildhearts. why is it that radio 1 playlists crap like hell is for heroes, good charlotte, and yet another fucking oasis single whilst ignoring great tracks like this? sounds like son of foo. crunchy and tasty, like popcorn 'n peanuts.
#16 "nice weather for ducks," lemon jelly. lovely and bizarre.
#13 "love story (vs. finally)," layo & bushwacka!. excellent example of a faux dj boot that works a charm, reminding me of ebtg vs. soul vision's "tracey in my room" (#33 a year ago). warm, inviting, and infinitely danceable.
#10 "hidden agenda," craig david. another warm one, and one which deserved much better. he tries to make a name for himself in the states, and his countrymen turn their collective back on him, what? nicely understated pop-soul.
#7 "mudian to bach ke," panjabi mc. only down 2 places, woo hoo! here's hoping that bhangra's the sound to break from the underground to the mainstream (finally) in '03.
#4 "year 3000," busted. I don't care if they play guitars and write their own songs, not when they're as horridly insipid as this: "and your great-great-great granddaughter/is pretty fine." well, thanks for the tip, boys. not being prefab doesn't mean you're still not a boy band, y'know.
#3 "the opera song (brave new world)," jurgen vries featuring cmc. cmc a/k/a charlotte church. this single is a marketer's wet dream, and a music lover's nightmare. shite stadium-trance with faux-operatic trilling by the vile no-longer-a-child-prodigy-and-where-do-you-go-from-there? church. worst new entry of the week by furlongs.
#2 "'03 bonnie & clyde," jay-z featuring beyonce knowles. was really hoping this'd knock sneddo off the top. have discovered it's a real grower; after being initially not so impressed, I'm learning to love this song - and happy about it. this wipes the floor with every ja rule/ashanti collabo because beyonce has personality, something ashanti wouldn't know if it hit her in the face. well, that and the fact that jay-z is excellent.
#1 "stop living the lie," david sneddon. so?

next week, folks, it's all about t.a.t.u....

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