Thursday, April 17, 2003

Why is it that being “bitchy,” a/k/a nasty, is so often so prized by the gay community – gay men, at least? I understand that being clever and witty and cutting is often an important skill for gay men, often how we get ourselves out of adolescent (and post-) scrapes and would-be fights; those who can’t (or won’t) fight with their fists fight instead with their words. And heaven knows gay men have defense mechanisms for days. But why do we so frequently turn them on each other, the very people who are supposed to be (theoretically, at least) our brothers? I’m not a fan of this culture of bitchiness, and I’m not just saying so because I don’t have the quickest wit around (I think of good comebacks, sometimes… 5 minutes later). I simply don’t see the point in tearing each other down. Even when said in “good fun,” eventually, the words (can) take a toll. There are few things (thank goodness for the bear “movement,” as it were, doing at least a small part to combat body fascism) about my brotherhood which I loathe more. Words can and do hurt – and who should know that better than us?

And I’m vowing, right here, right now, with all of you as witnesses, to cut down on the catty remarks myself. [Except towards Stumpy, because he’s not gay, so it doesn’t count. Plus, we’re just stoopid with each other.] Feel free to call me on it if I don’t stand by it.

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