Thursday, May 01, 2003

”With Bob, not only do you get to your destination, you get a floor show!” - said by me, sometime in 2002

Bob is a divaholic. Gloria, Whitney, Aretha, Janet, Donna, Babs, Celine… he truly, madly, deeply loves them all. And with that, he has a habit, while driving, that I find utterly charming: he performs. It’s amazing he’s not a professional drag queen, really. While Bob’s motoring from point A to point B, he does two shows, tips in the glove box, please. With his stereo blaring whatever that day’s divas of choice are, Bob not only sings along – he does the hand motions. It’s a ridiculously endearing trait, one which I never fail to enjoy seeing in action. However, he’s sometimes unfairly painted in only that shade, the same way too many people think of him as “the bitter queen.” As far as bitterness goes, it’s in large part a role Bob plays; it’s what’s expected of him, and he performs it well. But by no means is that all there is to Bob.

I often worry that Bob doesn’t know just how important he is to me. He and I dated for five months, from March to August of last year. Our breakup was a mutual decision, but I know it hurt him more than me, because he believed in us as a couple more than I did. I’m very, very glad that we’ve been able to remain such close friends – he’s undoubtedly in what I call my “inner circle,” those who are not only closest to me but know the most as well. It amuses me a bit to see just how he’s “known” for being bitter, because Bob is one of the most sincerely warm- and good-hearted people I’ve ever known. Ever.

Bob is a very passionate person. If he loves you – and I’m very fortunate to be in that group of people – you know it, everyone knows it, and don’t even try to play. He’s fairly sensitive, but has such a tough veneer, that often goes unnoticed. [His tendency to cry during movies does get noticed, but that’s not what I mean.] Bob is fiercely loyal, as well. If you even dare think of fucking with one of his friends, he will call you out and tear you to shreds. What a wonderful character trait to have, and how wonderful to know that a friend always has your back.

I’ve having difficulty putting into written words my feelings for Bob. I hope he’s always a part of my life, because I cherish his friendship and love seriously and intensely. He’s got so much to give, and if the men of this world – well, this city – would wise up, one of ‘em will be very, very fortunate to be his husband one of these days. I might even cry at the wedding.

I love you, Bob, like a brother (or, sometimes, sister). Always know that.

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