Tuesday, July 22, 2003
Silence scares me. Or used to, at least.
Not that I have to talk all the time, but when other people are quiet, I tend to worry, thinking that I’ve done something wrong. I’m slowly getting over that with time – especially as I learn how better to be quiet, myself – but it’s still a concern. It’s all tied in with self-esteem issues, of not feeling good enough or adequate enough, and as I get older and continue to mature, I gain confidence in myself, and some of those issues become lessened. But there’s always going to be part of that terrified 11-year-old kid inside me, and I can’t change that. So I learn how to reassure him, and in doing so, myself.
Not that I have to talk all the time, but when other people are quiet, I tend to worry, thinking that I’ve done something wrong. I’m slowly getting over that with time – especially as I learn how better to be quiet, myself – but it’s still a concern. It’s all tied in with self-esteem issues, of not feeling good enough or adequate enough, and as I get older and continue to mature, I gain confidence in myself, and some of those issues become lessened. But there’s always going to be part of that terrified 11-year-old kid inside me, and I can’t change that. So I learn how to reassure him, and in doing so, myself.
# posted by Thomas : 2:04 PM
