Friday, November 21, 2003
What odd days.
I'm - not in a funk precisely, but not sure where I am, in terms of headspace. To most of the world I seem my usual, happy-go-lucky self, I believe, but inside, that's not quite it. What I do know is this:
1. I'm still pretty fucking sick of being single. Why is being single so damned hard?
2. My sex pendulum has swung back; I'm just not in the mood for hookups for their own sake. I mean, I can get myself off. What I really crave is the affection: the kissing, holding, whispering in each other's ears, caressing, sleeping together even. [I'm getting better at that last one as I get older - more flexible, not physically, but in terms of balancing my wants and those of my partner.]
3. Talk about the bride stripped bare (godiloveroxymusic): I just told someone (my erstwhile fuckbuddy, if you have to know) that I'd really like to date him - and that had he made a move before I asked Travis out, frankly, Travis and I never would've happened. Who knows?
I know this feels a bit incomplete; so do I, lately.
I'm - not in a funk precisely, but not sure where I am, in terms of headspace. To most of the world I seem my usual, happy-go-lucky self, I believe, but inside, that's not quite it. What I do know is this:
1. I'm still pretty fucking sick of being single. Why is being single so damned hard?
2. My sex pendulum has swung back; I'm just not in the mood for hookups for their own sake. I mean, I can get myself off. What I really crave is the affection: the kissing, holding, whispering in each other's ears, caressing, sleeping together even. [I'm getting better at that last one as I get older - more flexible, not physically, but in terms of balancing my wants and those of my partner.]
3. Talk about the bride stripped bare (godiloveroxymusic): I just told someone (my erstwhile fuckbuddy, if you have to know) that I'd really like to date him - and that had he made a move before I asked Travis out, frankly, Travis and I never would've happened. Who knows?
I know this feels a bit incomplete; so do I, lately.